Emptines...
It's 2:20 am, I have an exam in the morning, but I can't sleep, I tried sleeping earlier, laid in bed, trying to kick all the thoughts from my mind, putting a pillow over my head and hugging ASCII (my teady bear, yeah funny name, my friends at college got it for me, I'm so in love with teddy bears :faint:) I kept reciting verses from the qur'an in my head, trying to relax, it did work a bit, I felt better, but still wouldn't sleep.
I kept rolling in my bed, remembering what happened all thru the day, a very strange day indeed! I was feeling really happy when I woke up, but later a feeling of extreme worry and anxiety filled me, I was on the verge of crying, at similar situations I'd normally fight back the tears, but I didn't, actually I wanted to cry it all out, but I couldn't, I got up, took a very hot shower, maybe the hot water would shower my worries away, then I prayed isha and qada2 7aga, now I feel slightly better, then laid back in bed, listening to mashary rashid reciting surat 'al mu'minoon' he always had this magical effect on me, and it worked, I felt the lump in my throat became less intense, and tears started flowing, finally I managed to cry, I cried everything out, and I felt a lot better after that.
ok, back to studying then, I opened the book, and managed to go thru the pages, not sure if I took it all in, but at least I'd be able to pass tomorrow (isA!)
But then, a strange feeling crawled inside of me, I can't really describe it, a feeling of emptiness washed all over me! never thought emptiness could hurt that much, I went thru my playlists, listening to my favourite songs, even downloaded some others, started reading some Rumi poetry, checking different forums, but still, this damn feeling won't go away.
I called up my cousin, great! she's asleep, none of my friends are online, why did everybody choose to sleep early today!
I took out pride and prejudice, with the film score of 'Beautiful Mind' playing in the background ( I Love the music and the movie, James Horner is amazing!), can't remember how many times I read this novel, I love this era, playing the piano, reading by the fireplace, if I can I'd go back in time, live this peacful life, simple, but yet they never failed to entertain themselves.
Maybe I'd just go take a sleeping pill or sth, but then maybe I won't be able to wake up for the exam tomorrow!
Great, u know what, I prefer this lump in my throat that this feeling of emptiness....!
I kept rolling in my bed, remembering what happened all thru the day, a very strange day indeed! I was feeling really happy when I woke up, but later a feeling of extreme worry and anxiety filled me, I was on the verge of crying, at similar situations I'd normally fight back the tears, but I didn't, actually I wanted to cry it all out, but I couldn't, I got up, took a very hot shower, maybe the hot water would shower my worries away, then I prayed isha and qada2 7aga, now I feel slightly better, then laid back in bed, listening to mashary rashid reciting surat 'al mu'minoon' he always had this magical effect on me, and it worked, I felt the lump in my throat became less intense, and tears started flowing, finally I managed to cry, I cried everything out, and I felt a lot better after that.
ok, back to studying then, I opened the book, and managed to go thru the pages, not sure if I took it all in, but at least I'd be able to pass tomorrow (isA!)
But then, a strange feeling crawled inside of me, I can't really describe it, a feeling of emptiness washed all over me! never thought emptiness could hurt that much, I went thru my playlists, listening to my favourite songs, even downloaded some others, started reading some Rumi poetry, checking different forums, but still, this damn feeling won't go away.
I called up my cousin, great! she's asleep, none of my friends are online, why did everybody choose to sleep early today!
I took out pride and prejudice, with the film score of 'Beautiful Mind' playing in the background ( I Love the music and the movie, James Horner is amazing!), can't remember how many times I read this novel, I love this era, playing the piano, reading by the fireplace, if I can I'd go back in time, live this peacful life, simple, but yet they never failed to entertain themselves.
Maybe I'd just go take a sleeping pill or sth, but then maybe I won't be able to wake up for the exam tomorrow!
Great, u know what, I prefer this lump in my throat that this feeling of emptiness....!
Thanks for the post Anonymous
but may I ask who r u?
Posted by
# Juwaireyah # |
8:23 AM